I Slept Terribly on Vacation and I Think I Know Why

I just got back from the longest stretch I've ever been away from my dogs. Not by much, only a couple of days longer than usual, but it pushed past whatever my personal limit apparently is.

They were fine. I want to say that first, because I know how these stories can read. The four who were boarded stayed at a place they know well, because it's the same one they go to for daycare. It isn't a weird building full of strangers. They know the whole staff, the staff knows them, and I get reassuring updates.

Everybody there has my cell, my vet's number, and a couple of emergency contacts besides me. I travel enough that this is a well-oiled machine, and I never once sat at dinner wondering if they were okay, because I knew they were.

But here's the part I can't fully explain.

Somewhere in the back half of the trip, I started dreaming about them. Not gentle little dreams, either. Vivid, loud, all-hands-on-deck dreams where I was chasing them and calling their names, the kind you wake up from still half-convinced they were real. One morning I was informed that I'd been running in my sleep. Actually running, legs going, the whole show. I was having the best time on this trip, and yet my brain apparently spent the night doing laps after my Airedales, who were, by every available report, sound asleep and perfectly content.

I don't have a tidy explanation for that, and I'm not going to invent one. What I can tell you is what it felt like: homesickness, except the home I was missing had four legs and a lot of opinions.

The bond runs both ways, and the science backs it up

Researchers have actually put dogs in a sleep lab and found they sleep worse when their person isn't in the room. They take longer to fall asleep and spend less time in deep sleep. The researchers tied it straight to attachment, the same kind of bond a young child has with a parent. The dog isn't being needy. The dog is wired to rest easier when their person is close.

What nobody mentions is that the wiring goes both ways. I'm the one who flew, slept in a very nice bed with zero dogs in it, and ran a marathon in my sleep anyway. If attachment can wreck a dog's sleep when their person leaves the room, it can apparently wreck mine from an airport away.

That's the thing I keep coming back to. We build this bond on purpose, a thousand small moments at a time, and then we act surprised when it turns out to be load-bearing in both directions. You don't get the greeting stretch at the door without also getting the 2 a.m. dream where you're calling their names across a parking lot.

Coming home

I got home, and everybody came back from their stay within a few hours of me walking in the door. Well… almost everybody. Daisy is out on the show road until October, so she missed the reunion, but the other four made up for it.

Erwitt and Fleetwood gave me the full greeting stretch: front legs out, rear end up, the whole downward dog. Prayerie immediately began her report on everything I'd missed. Hudson wanted to know if we could please go outside now.

That first night home, the four of them ended up in my room. The plan was a movie. Hudson and Erwitt claimed their dog beds, Fleetwood and Prayerie climbed up onto mine, and somewhere between settling in and picking something to watch, the whole operation went quiet.

We never chose the movie. Not one of us made it past the previews. Four Airedales and one very content human were out cold before anything started.

Best night's sleep I've had in a while, and I don't think that's a coincidence.

Turns out the bond that had me running in my sleep is the same one that puts me under in about four minutes flat once everybody's accounted for. Well, almost everybody, but four out of five and a phone full of Daisy updates was enough to do the job. I just needed my pack close and breathing, and I needed to be home. Apparently, I needed it as much as they do.

Have you ever been surprised by how much you missed your dog when you were away? I'd love to hear about it, especially the times it caught you off guard.

-Kim Opdyke

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