Don’t Worry… My Dog Is Friendly!

This is one sentence that drives me absolutely crazy. For the record, in some cases I believe you. Mine are friendly too. It’s a genuine thing to say, but it’s also completely uninformed.

Your dog being friendly doesn’t mean the other dog feels the same, and it doesn’t mean the meeting is safe without you paying attention.

Take my neighbor. He lets his dog roam off leash, on the golf course or right through my yard, and when we moved in, he made a point of telling me his dog doesn’t bark and is very friendly.

Then one day that same dog came charging across the golf course straight at Fleetwood. Tail going wild, clearly wanting to play, completely friendly. But a full-speed charge is a lot of information coming at another dog very fast, so much that even a friendly dog can get unsure. “Friendly” is a mood, and it depends on the situation, what’s familiar, and which dogs are around.

So the first time it happened, I didn’t let them play. I know how that sounds… but I’m the fun one, I promise. A dog running full speed at another dog doesn’t always end well, and I wasn’t going to gamble on a first meeting. I called Fleetwood, and he came home with me on command. That was the introduction, or lack thereof!

Fleetwood is e-collar trained and his recall is solid, which is the only reason I could call him off a dog he really wanted to meet. It wasn’t because everyone was friendly. It was because one of the two dogs was very good at listening to his person.

After that, we set up a proper introduction on our terms, and Fleetwood loves that dog now. He looks for him every single time we go out, and they do get to play.

I’m not telling you this to show how I keep my dogs away from other dogs. It’s about how important it is to be the one who decides when and how, instead of leaving it up to two dogs at full speed.

You wouldn’t let your kid run off and play with any random child, no matter how nice they seemed. Same principle. It’s not being unfriendly, it’s being careful.

I say all this as someone who genuinely loves taking my dogs to the park. I’ve taken my crew for years. But I’ve also seen it go horribly wrong.

Years ago, my boy Grover was attacked at a park while the other owner just stood there, frozen. And I’d bet anything that before it happened, someone would have called that dog friendly too.

We’ve talked before about the difference between social and socialized, and this is where it matters. A social dog says hi to everyone, running up to every person and every dog, tail wagging, with no impulse control.

A socialized dog can stay calm, read the room, and still be ready to make a friend when the moment is actually right. Fleetwood staying composed next to a carriage horse in Charleston is a great example of a well-socialized dog.

Your dog being friendly is a great thing, but it’s not a substitute for paying attention!

Does your dog charge in to say hi, or has yours learned to wait for the go-ahead? I’m always curious which camp people land in.

-Kim Opdyke

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